marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize