6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
