Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
