Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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