remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
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time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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