What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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