Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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