I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
