I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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