After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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