I don't usually arrange sex via text message
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
