Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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