never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
