I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
A+ Viking dick
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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