hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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