there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
