wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
