I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
