i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
