PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Congratulations! We have a period
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
