Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
