Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize