Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
