I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
