I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
