Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
