I just saw a hot homeless man
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
