Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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