i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
