Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
