drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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