I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
