She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
