You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
