At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunk is not a location!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
