I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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