it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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