thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
