So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
