what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
