If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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