My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ttyl tear gas
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
