Yo dont text me then not text me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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