Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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