we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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