I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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