So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
