just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
