She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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