so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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