I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
