I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think your dad took our porno
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You were trust falling into bushes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize