She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize