Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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