I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
