i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
