So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
