this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
