ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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